To my understanding the Ikea Tradfri lights can only be paired to one controller.
Either the Remote or Homey.
So you have to make a choice.
I had my lights connected to the remote first and could not connect them to Homey so i had to reset them.
Turn on and off the power 6 times than they will reset.
I’ve made an option in Homekit like “Weltrusten” that turns off all lights etc.
You can do the same with Alexa or Google Home ofcourse.
Maybe that is an option for you.
The same way you can also ask those services to Dim the lights etc.
If you don’t want to use your voice etc. you need to buy some Push buttons: https://www.robbshop.nl/basisstations/afstandsbedieningen
One of these that work with Homey and can activate a Scene / Flow should do the trick.